


carry me through the dark

by auroraphilealis (xrosepetalsx)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 2009, 2012, Comfort, Drabble, Getting Together, M/M, The Amazing Tour Is Not on Fire, Tour, askfic, danandphil tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 13:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10720542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xrosepetalsx/pseuds/auroraphilealis
Summary: the one where dan was always phil’s strength, and his confidence, and he holds him up through it all.





	carry me through the dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Phantasticpheels (orphan_account)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/gifts).



> inspired by this ask: no i rlly lved the drbel & since u've agreed i hve this idea stuck in my hd like 4ever tht evr since dan met phl he loved to come up from behind n cuddle himn whisper cute things to him n kiss his neck etc& phil got all shy/ slowly he felt dan grow in height from how his head came b/w phil's shoulder blades to resting his chin on top of phil's head & in a vry busy week like dan didn't do it & phil missed it so much tht he led dan up behind him while he wshed dishes & wrped his arms rnd hmslf agh

when phil first meets dan, he can’t seem to keep his hands off of him. he’s just really shy, despite most people believing that he’s not, thanks to youtube and his overly quirky attitude, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself when he’s in front of his crush, so he just kind of claws at dan and pokes at his cheeks and keeps hugging his side. all the while, phil’s got this super bright blush, and he can’t stop smiling and giggling and making little animal noises. dan doesn’t mind, though. dan’s never been given so much affection in his life, and he finds himself falling in love with phil so fucking fast it isn’t even funny.

at the top of the manchester eye, dan’s the one to kiss phil. phil’s doing that thing where he makes jokes again, poking at dan’s side to see if he gets them at all, and grinning with his tongue poking through his teeth. it’s so cute, makes dan feel so warm inside, that he just can’t seem to help it when he leans over close and presses his mouth to phil’s. 

at first, it’s all teeth because phil was in the middle of laughing, you know? but it doesn’t matter because phil is so stunned that dan’s able to make it work. 

when he pulls away, phil’s so red he can’t even speak, and dan just kind of grins at him and kisses him again. 

later, when they head home, dan’s the one who takes charge. terrified to do the wrong thing, phil just kind of blushes and heads into the kitchen to get them both some water, but dan follows him, and he comes up behind phil, and he wraps his arms around his waist and drags him in close. at first, his face just kind of slots between phil’s shoulder blades, he’s so small and short, and phil tenses up in his arms, but dan just kind of kisses phil through his shirt as he grins and turns his head so he can rest his cheek against phil. 

phil reaches up tentatively to touch his fingers to dan’s hands, and he literally melts as his clutches tight back to dan. he can’t believe this is happening, as weird as it sounds, and he’s always been the shy one, but here’s dan, holding him so tight. 

then dan pushes up on his tip toes, until his chin just brushes phil’s shoulder, and he whispers in his hear just how cute he finds him. he tells phil that he thought it was sweet the way he clawed at him today, and how it made him all blushy and shy too, but that he just hadn’t been able to help himself from leaning forward and kissing phil when he did that thing with his tongue and…

and it keeps happening. dan moves to manchester for uni, and he spends more than half of his time in phils apartment, and they aren’t dating, not for a while, except they so totally are. they don’t put a label on it because phil’s too scared to ask and dan doesn’t believe this is really happening, but then phil asks dan to move in and dan asks phil if they’re partners, and phil kisses him gentle on the lips and tells him, “of course we are. i love you.” 

the way dan holds phil in bed later is reminiscent to that first time. dan’s the big spoon because phil’s always wanted to be held, but his face hardly comes to between phil’s shoulder blades again. it doesn’t seem to matter; dan’s arms are just so warm, as his breathe, and dan keeps inhaling phil’s scent, and that’s all that matters.

he whispers words of love into the fabric of phil’s t-shirt, and phil keeps his blush hidden in his hands, and dan’s the only one who truly understands just how shy phil truly is. he does the talking for both of them, because he’s the romantic, and phil doesn’t know how to say i love you without a kiss, but that’s okay.

that’s okay, because dan knows how to say i love you with his lips and his hands, and he’s the one who guides them both through it all.

steadily, dan grows taller and taller, until one day, he wraps his arms around phil’s waist again and drags him back and into his chest, and now his chin rests comfortably on phil’s shoulder. he presses kisses into the skin of phil’s neck, and he whispers sweet words into his ear, and he takes phil to bed because he’s always the one who does. 

but he doesn’t always take phil to bed, no, sometimes he just nibbles on phil’s ear lobe and teases him, or hugs him tight and reassures him that they’re going to be okay, and in 2012 when things seem bad, dan promises phil that he’ll do everything he can to protect him, to protect them, with his chin resting on phil’s shoulder and his lips right at his ear.

phil believes him, because phil always believes dan, and dan has always been phil’s strength. 

it seems to happen suddenly, dan becoming taller than phil. one moment, he’s still gotta push up on his toes a bit to kiss phil on the forehead, and the next, he’s wrapping his arms around phil all over again and this time, this time, his chin rests comfortable on phil’s head, and when did that happen.

phil feels small, for the first time. 

for years, it’s felt almost wrong that dan’s the one whose held phil through the rough times, always his support, his structure, because phil was so much bigger than him, but then one day dan wraps his arms around phil’s body, and he rests his head on top of phil’s, and he laughs because he can do that now, and phil just kind of… stills. 

because when did that happen?

and he feels properly small, and warm, and cocooned in dan’s arm. he feels right, like this was how it was meant to be the whole damn time. he melts, all over again, like he did that very first time, and he feel’s safe. 

dan doesn’t seem to notice. maybe it’s normal to him. maybe phil always melts, he doesn’t know, but dan just kind of laughs, and teases him, and pokes him in his sides, and phil just lets him. he laughs back, and doesn’t even fight, because he’s too busy reveling in this moment of warmth. 

later, he’ll notice how big dan’s hands have gotten, how broad his shoulders. he’ll notice the way dan’s been filling out all this time, and he’ll curl up backwards in dan’s arms at night, and he’ll think this is it, this is all ive ever wanted, and sigh. 

but then things will get complicated, and busy, and dan’s always there for him, he is, but he isn’t holding phil anymore. they haven’t got the time. they’re on tour, and then tour, and then on tour, and they’re so tired and sweaty and wired that they can’t sleep at night. dan’s there to fight off the crowds, and to argue with angry parents, and keep phil from having to deal, but he doesn’t help him the way he used to, and it’s hard.

it’s hard because phil misses it so goddamn much. he just wants dan’s arms wrapped around him tight, want’s dan’s head pressing on top of his, and his voice in his ear, and his lips on his neck, and his nose nuzzling at his skin. he wants dan keeping him safe, and warm, and small. 

he takes his chance the week they come home, and they decide not to unpack or post or deal with the internet at all. they’re on vacation in their own home, and that’s when phil strikes. 

he’s making dinner in the kitchen, and he’s tired - bone deep tired, exhausted to the point of collapse. He’s only one his feet now because he’s got to eat, and after months on the road, he’s tired of fast food and take out. he’s determined to make dinner for him and dan tonight, and yet hes so tired that he can feel tears pricking at his eyes. he wishes he could just. not. but he will.

so when dan wanders into the kitchen, lured by the scent of tomato sauce and cooking beef, phil turns around and stares at him for less than a second before he walks right on up to him, grabs dan’s arms, and drags them around his waist. 

dan inhales sharply, surprised, gets out a half uttered “-uh?” before phil turns around in his arms and just kind of rests back against his body. his head falls backwards, finds a soft spot on dan’s shoulders, and he closes his eyes as dan’s arms automatically tighen around him. 

there’s the soft rumble of laughter against phil’s back. 

“missed this?” dan asks.

“always,” phil replies, and reaches up to grab dan’s arms in his. he holds him tightly, just like that first time so many years back, and sighs, because dan has always held him through the toughest of times, and now, he’ll always hold him through the best as well.


End file.
